Typo Creates Collateral Damage for PGA: 'Golf War' and Code Orange have PGA seeing Red

WASHINGTON - A clerical error at the Washington Post brought the Professional Golf Association to its knees on Wednesday after reporting that a 'Golf' war was inevitable. The erroneous headline coincided with U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge’s announcement that the national terrorist alert was being raised from yellow to code-orange, the highest danger rating. These combined announcements put the golf community into a state of panic and sent shockwaves through Wall Street.

Prominent media analysts suggest that under normal circumstances the typo would have been disregarded. However, the hysteria created by the National Terrorist Alert and "domestic fears over biological weapons have put the American Public on edge".

Only hours after the Washington Post misprint hit newsstands across the US, Golf magazine reported on their website that Saddam Hussein had biological weapons "capable of defoliating every golf course in North America." The website posted satellite images of the arid Iraqi landscape as conclusive proof that Saddam Hussein used these weapons on his own people.

Almost instantly, new fears of a 'golf' war had Wall Street in a panic and Golf Technology stocks posted huge losses on the NYSE. The Professional Golf Association went into a state of damage control and even hosted an emergency meeting with Tour Sponsors to discuss security issues related to the 2003 Tour.

In other business news, Carpetland CEO, Leon Seynave, reported that sales in California and Florida have never been better. Seynave explained, "elderly couples stockpiling Astroturf for underground putting greens have every Carpetland outlet in those states running at capacity." Land Mine detection technology sales also rose sharply after a Weapons Expert from the Westpoint Military Academy told a CNN reporter that "predictable patterns of movement over fairways, sand-traps and putting greens makes the Golf course the perfect landscape for landmines."

Both, the Washington Post and Golf Magazine have publicly apologized to the PGA for the error and offered discounted advertising space to golf corporations that were hurt by the misinformation. In a compelling national address, angry PGA spokesman Julius Mason had the last word, "I want to be very clear and remind people that it’s at times like these when the American Public has to grab their balls and keep driving."

Field Reporter Justin Mulcahy reporting for News2me