Barge Blast, Which Kills 2, Is Called Accident - Prank Not Funny

NEW YORK - Two people were killed and another injured when a gasoline barge exploded off Staten Island on Friday. Flames and smoke covered the New York harbor sending police and federal agencies into high alert in a already terror stricken city.

The blast started in a oil storage facility southeast of Manhattan, near the site of the former World Trade Towers which were destroyed in terrorism attacks in 2001.

News and reports of a possible terror attack on the facility were finally put to rest when a spokeswoman for ExxonMobil Corp. announced they had spoken to the burned victim who accounted for the cause of the disaster.

"The victim currently in the hospital was telling friends of a movie he had recently watched on DVD called 'Jack Ass - The Movie'. He discussed several stunts involving anal fireworks, rectal gas ignited by fire, and toy cars which were inserted in the rear end," she announced to a shocked room of reporters and officials.

She said the ExxonMobil worker received doubts from his fellow employees as to if this could possibly be true so he decided to prove his case in one big event with several sparkler fireworks, a hot wheel red corvette, a can of pork n' beans, and finally a lighter.

The victim, whom ExxonMobil is not releasing the name of out of fear him and his family may be stoned to death in Time Square, "proceeded to eat the can of beans before the start of work Friday to generate a suitable buildup of intestinal gas. Once to work he met the doubters of his story at the oil facility and with them watching, so as to be sure he wasn't cheating of course, the employee inserted the corvette into his rear entry way followed by the stick section of the sparkler."

It was then, according to the spokeswoman, that he had one of the onlookers light the firework. "At first they laughed at the site but when he let out the intestinal gas horror overcame the crowd." She recounted stories of flames shooting outward up to thirty feet, similar to that of a flame thrower. One person lost his right eye when the hot wheel car was transformed into a projectile. Many employees screamed and dove into the nearby bay.

The employee/stunt man has severe second degree burns on his butt and back area and is currently receiving anal skin grafts in a nearby hospital.

ExxonMobil, who also was responsible for the Alaskan oil spill do to a intoxicated tanker captain, said they do not condone horseplay on the job but said also that they promote honesty in the workplace and if someone is called a liar, they should provide fact to support their case.

"He just should have done it away from 100,000 barrels of gas."

FOX has reportedly obtained security camera footage of the accident and is working on a hour long special called "Disasters: When farts go horribly wrong". Reenactments of the incident even will star pop singer Michael Jackson, whom is no stranger to anal escapades and fire.

Staff Writer Eddie Newman reporting for News2me