Posted on Saturday, March 8 / 2003

Anna Nicole Smith/MINI Commercial Deal Falls Through

LOS ANGELES - It was announced by MINI Friday that its $2.5 million dollar commercial deal with Hollywood's Anna Nicole Smith has fallen through due to "irreconcilable differences".

The deal was originally signed back in January in which Anna Nicole would be the official spokeswoman for the British line of MINI Cooper automobiles with a run of thirteen commercials over the next two years.

Chaos however was unleashed when filming began for the first commercial in a Los Angeles studio. "The script was simple," said Vinnie Grooms, producer for Largo Advertising which MINI contracted for the ad campaign. "Anna was simply supposed to slowly walk the length of the car rubbing her hand along the beautiful streamlined angles while using her awesome sex appeal."

She was then to "get in and drive away from the camera," Vinnie explained. "Then it happened." It was when she tried to get in Grooms realized she was too large for the MINI Cooper's opening. "We watched in horror as Anna squirmed, then thrusted herself back and forth sliding the car sideways a good fifteen feet before finally squeezing into the demo car."

According to Grooms, that caused a chain of events he will soon not forget. "Once she was in, the door wouldn't close. I had our stage hand try pushing the door closed but her hips were just too wide. It took a total of four people with a running start to get the door closed."

Once she was completely inside the vehicle the crew began rehearsing the scene. It was during the rehearsal that the extreme weight finally caused all four Firestone tires to explode resulting in the frame of the British car to impact the concrete with a loud bang. The rumble, felt for miles, prompted studio security to be alerted.

"We arrived at Studio D to find the MINI firmly on the ground with the young woman still inside," security officer Buck Jones told reporters later that day. "Just as we arrived we witnessed the car in questions start to come apart and the pavement underneath start to crack in every direction." Jones said the roof then buckled outward and the windows shattered due to the swelling mass within. "Reminded me of those refrigerated biscuits when you don't keep 'em cold."

The security officers immediately tried to remove Anna from the Cooper but soon realized she was firmly stuck inside the car. Fire and other emergency personnel were then called to the scene and two hours later with the help of the 'jaws of life' and axle grease Anna was rescued, put on a IV of chocolate syrup, and rushed to Sea World for observations, the nearest X-ray machine large enough for the ex-playboy playmate. The specially constructed X-ray machine is one of a kind and largely used for X-raying Killer Whales and other large mammals.

Sam Walters, CEO of MINI, called the incident "astonishing" and wished Anna a speedy recovery. When asked about the future of the commercials, Walters said that "Anna Nicole Smith and MINI have agreed to back out of any plans we had together due to her massive girth for which our products cannot withstand." He also insisted that the MINI Cooper is a well designed and manufactured automobile but American's fascination with fat and lardness was never considered in the development process.

"I knew Americans ate a lot of greasy fast foods but until you travel to the states and see one of these massive creatures for yourself, you just don't think it possible," Walters stated.

Staff Writer Eddie Newman reporting for News2me


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